Celebrity Jeopardy
by Ran Hakubi
Summary: What would happen if Ron, Drakken, and Sean Connery were on Celebrity Jeopardy? Laughs, probably. Based on the classic Celebrity Jeopardy skit on Saturday Night Live.


**A/N:** Well lookie here, a short little fic. This one came to my head the other day, and the only way I'd be able to stop thinking about it was to make the lot of you suffer! BWA HAHAHAHAHA! Seriously though, I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: Disney, those fine wonderful people, own Kim Possible and all related characters. I'm not sure who exactly owns SNL and Jeopardy, but they are fine wonderful people as well, who would in no way sue me for writing this little diddy...would they?

Ran's Three R's go into effect...NOW!

* * *

Will Ferrel, dressed up in his Alex Trebek costume, walked onto the set. He had come to do a cameo skit, and of course, the would be doing a Celebrity Jeopardy. The script had been finalized that day, cue cards were ready to go in case they were needed, and the other actors were ready to take their places and perform their roles. This episodes host, John DiMaggio, would be reprising his role from the animated series "Kim Possible" while his fellow Kim Possible alum, Will Fridle would be playing the character Ron Stoppable. And, as always, there to play the always present Sean Connery would be Darrel Hammond. It was going to be another hilarious skit, Will was sure of it as he walked out to take his mark on the mock up Jeopardy set.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I wish I could know why you came back at all though." Alex said into the camera after the intro graphic and music had done their jobs. "With us is the infamous Dr. Drakken, with negative four thousand, five hundred dollars."

"Soon, the world will know of my genius!" Drakken screamed into his microphone.

Alex forced back a heavy sigh. "I'm sure they will. We also have Ron Stoppable, with negative one thousand six hundred dollars."

"Yet, I'm still doing better than I thought would be possible," Ron said with a grin.

"That is both shocking and sad," Alex said before moving on to the last contestant, "And as always, with a commanding lead of six dollars, Sean Connery."

"Can't get enough of me, can ya Trebek," Sean said with a smirk on his face.

"I had my fill of you after the first two episodes," Alex replied.

"So did your mother!" Sean said before letting loose with a brief laugh.

"My mother is dead. Moving on. Here are the categories for Double Jeopardy:"

"Potent Potables.

"Between here and there.

"Rome.

"Test This. All questions in this category will relate to well known tests

"Things a doggy would do

"and finally, your ass or your elbow. Sean Connery, you have the lead, please pick a category."

"Finally giving up, eh Trebek?" Sean asked.

"You know what, Ron, why don't you pick a category?"

"DAMN!" Sean shouted.

"Hey, can you play zombie mayhem with all those TV?" Ron asked.

"Never mind. Dr. Drakken, how about you?"

"I'll take Rome please." Drakken said.

"Okay, for how much?" Alex asked, hoping this wasn't going where he thought it was going.

"You mean I can buy Rome?" Drakken then to face someone off screen. "SHEGO! HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE?"

"No, I mean how hard of a question about Rome do you...forget it. Rome for 600." Alex said, sounding defeated as it went exactly where he thought it would. "The sayings goes: Rome wasn't built in how many days?"

Dr. Drakken's podium went off, catching Alex's attention "Yes, Dr. Drakken."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY HAVE TWENTY-SEVEN DOLLARS!" Drakken yelled at the unseen sidekick.

"I'm sorry, that's wrong. Anyone else? Yes, Ron?"

"Do they have mexican food in Rome?" Ron asked.

"I don't know. And you're wrong," Alex replied.

"Well how can I be wrong if you don't know?" Ron questioned.

"That's not what I...the answer is one. Rome wasn't built in a day." Alex said, giving up.

"That's also how many times your mother could take it, Trebek," Sean commented.

"Again, my mother is dead. Next Category. Sean Connery will you please pick."

"I'll take Testes for 800."

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's not 'testes' thats 'Test This.' Test This for 800. This test is what high schoolers take to help their chances for college."

Sean hit the button on his podium, making Alex call for his answer "Lick himself!"

"Again, it's 'Test This', not testes. And that would be the wrong answer for this category anyways." Alex said in an exhausted tone.

"You'll get yours, Trebek!"

"I'm sure I will. Anyone else. Yes, Ron."

"What is the QMAT?" Ron asked.

"The what? No, I'm sorry, that is totally incorrect." Alex answered.

"That was the test Bonnie said I had to take at the hospital..." said Ron in a dejected tone of voice.

"I'm sorry you were tricked. Dr. Drakken, would you like to guess?" Alex said to the last contestant.

"$46.58. That's how much I'll pay for Rome," Drakken said, laying out the money on his podium.

"Rome isn't for sale." Alex said and then let out a groan.

"But you said I could buy it..." Drakken whined.

"I never said that you could buy Rome," Alex clarified.

"When I said Rome, you said for how much. That means you were wanting to sell Rome."

"I can't sell Rome. I don't own Rome. Nobody owns Rome."

"Hmm, I must find this Noh Bahdi. Perhaps I should start looking in India..." Drakken said to himself.

"There is no such person named No...and now for some reason, Ron has a plate of nachos in front of him."

Indeed, Ron was eating something from a plate that was now on his podium. A plate that seem to come out of nowhere. Hearing Alex call them nachos made Ron's face take on a less jolly form.

"Dude, they aren't nachos. They are Nacos."

"What's the difference?"

"Well, a naco is a cross between a taco and a nacho." Ron explained.

"You can't be serious."

"Note serious face, host dude." Ron then pointed to his face, which was indeed in "serious" mode.

"You know what? I don't care anymore. Put those away, there is no eating on the...and they are gone..."

"Sorry, were you saying something?" Ron asked while he was finishing off his last bite.

"Never mind. Let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. The category is "Cities". All you have to do is name one."

The contestants nodded and picked up their pens for their screens. While they were doing this, the famous "Final Jeopardy" music played as Alex kept talking. "It could be New York. Or Middleton. Or maybe even London. All it has to be is the name of a city. I know you all know of at least one. So please, just write down that name."

The music stopped and everybody put down their pens. Alex first went to Dr. Drakken's podium "Dr. Drakken, you were asked to name a city. Let's see what you put."

Where Dr. Drakken's name would be appeared a bunch of code for a computer program. "Well, it seems you have written just a bunch of computer code..." Alex stated.

"Yes, this computer program will help me find this Noh Bahdi that owns Rome..."

"Lovely. And your wager?" Alex asked as more of the same scribbles appeared. "More computer code. Good luck in your endeavorers."

Alex moved down to Ron's podium "Ron, lets see what you came up with." After Alex said that, a crude drawing appeared on Ron's screen. "And you drew a naked mole rat. Terrific."

"Naked mole rat's make great pets. Didn't you know that Alex?" Ron asked.

"I did not. Let's see how much you wagered...Rufus. You wagered Rufus. I hope the bullies as school hurt you very much on Monday." Alex said and moved down to Sean's position.

"Sean Connery, the always constant thorn in my side, let's see what you have..." and Sean Connery's screen activated.

"A slut. Well, A slut is Tulsa backwards, and Tulsa is indeed a city, so you have actually managed to do something right on this show. Very good."

"Thank you Trebek. I didn't know if you would get it or not, but maybe you're not as big a Canadian Bastard as I think you are..." Sean said.

"Well, I, appreciate that. I guess. Let's see how much you wagered..." Alex said, sounding somewhat touched, before he looked to see Sean's actual wager.

"Trebek's Mom Is..." Alex read, once again with a defeated tone.

Sean Connery laughed heartily at his own joke. "She really is, Trebek! She really is!"

Alex looked at the camera. "That's it for this episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going to go home and see what cyanide tastes like."

The actors all left their marks and stage hands came up to start taking away the props and preparing the stage for the next skit.


End file.
